Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
