What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
