Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
