I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
