He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
