So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
