is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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