is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
