so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
