found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
