I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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