some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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