Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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