yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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