There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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