I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
