Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize