just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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