just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
