Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
