he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
