Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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