The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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