I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
