I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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