You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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