i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
