Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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