i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize