is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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