Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
