What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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