also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
