We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
