Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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