Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
