He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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