I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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