I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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