My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Randomize
