I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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