brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
