i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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