Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I wear drunk well.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
