Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
