Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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