Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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