why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
