Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
