I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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