Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm having to shit out rocks
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
