Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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