Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
