We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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