Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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