it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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