there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
