she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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