We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
