awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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