So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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