i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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