it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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