I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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