Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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